This could be it...

Life is starting to... get back into place. Things aren't as terrible as they used to be. So many other aspects have gotten spectacular. Yeah, I could get used to this.

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Dear Diary...

Today was stupid.
I feel like crap.
I wanna throw up.
I miss my boyfriend.
Worked all day.
Bored out of my mind.
Boyfriend is getting sick.
Craving some IHOP.
I think I'm losing my marbles......

XOXO
jo

I wish...

I wish I were smarter
I wish I didn't screw up everything this semester
I wish I had more faith in myself
I wish I could try harder
I wish I didn't disappoint the people around me
I wish I could take care of myself
I wish I didn't feel like such a screw up all the time
I wish I could wish this all away...

I remember...

Never thought a song could have so much power to calm my nerves and make my heart beat fast all at the same time.

"I remember hearts that beat yeah, yeah
I remember you and me,yeah, oh yeah
Tangled in hotel sheets
You wore me out
You wore me out

I remember honey lips and words so true
I remember nonstop earthquake dreams of you
Coming on fast like good dreams do
All night long

Still can feel you kiss me love
Still can see your brown skin shine, shine
Still can feel you kiss me love
Come on and drive me wild (me wild)

And you move like water, yeah
And you broke like waves
I've never been deeper, so far gone
Your sister in the next room with the television on

Still can feel you kiss me love
Still can see your brown skin shine, shine
Still can feel you kiss me love
Come on and drive me wild
Come on and drive me wild
Come on and drive me wild

I remember hearts that beat,yeah
I remember you and me
Tangled in hotel sheets (for hours)

Still can feel you kiss me love
Still can see your brown skin shine, shine
Still can feel you kiss me love
Come on and drive me wild

Still can feel you kiss me love
Still can see your eyes like diamonds, diamonds
Memories are strong enough
To come on and drive me wild
Come on and drive me wild"

Hmm...

"So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard

The stakes are high...
The water's rough...

But this love is OURS"

So, there's this guy...

nough said :)


he's dreamy. 


tall, light, and handsome.


tattoos, eyelashes of a god.


hysterical.


I can't wait :)

From New Mexico to just plain ol Mexico

SO... I'm going to Mexico fro spring break, and I'm way pumped. Never been out of the country. AND I get to own a passport! I've always wanted one lol. My brother thinks I'm going to be kidnapped and have my kidneys stolen. I don't buy it....
I am so ready for a tan... Dresses... Swimsuits... the beach... Our Resort :)
I have to give mad props to my sister Remy for inviting me to go along, otherwise I would never go lol.
I cannot wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be sure to take a million pictures to post and share with ya'll :)


MEXICO HERE I COME!!!!!
watch out ;)

Jordyn Elizabeth

I thought I'd take this chance to tell you all about me. As much as I can. My name is Jordyn Elizabeth as you could have guessed.

I have a huge family, and its what gets me through.
I have green eyes and I wish they were blue.
I love blueberry scones, muffins, anything really.
I dance. It's my life.
I sing. Couldn't live without being able to.
My room is always messy, and I don't care.
I have an awful obsession with high heels. The taller the better.
I plan to replace most of my wardrobe with skirts and dresses by my birthday. (May 21)
I'm greedy... and I'm trying to work on that.
I'm pretty funny :)
I'm a good Christian girl, couldn't live without my Jesus!
I actually enjoy reading.
Bananas are my favorite fruit.
I am a proud owner of a 92 yj Wrangler Islander!!!
Purple is my favorite color. But I don't mind HOT pink or royal blue either :)
I'm very specific and VERY opinionated.
I hate feet. HATE.
Slow dance with me to no music like in The Notebook? I'll fall in love with you.
I care way too much about the way I look.
I HATE seafood.
I design and sew clothes.
I'm a performer... so I'm obsessed with stage makeup. Like Lady Gaga.
I love calling people by their full names.
I hate talking about my issues, but I love listening to yours.
I like to shop by myself.
I am very awkward, but I wouldn't have it any other way.



That is all for now :)
Thanks for reading :)

We Are Restless

Today Aubri-Nicole died. My best friends little baby girl was only a month old. I can not imagine the pain and hurt she is going through. Please keep Tyler and her family in your prayers, as i will do the same. God bless you all that you may not have to know this pain.

Thank You Sarah Lorrayne

While in Colorado on Christmas vacation with family... I bought a journal because of a wonderful idea my friend Sarah had. I am going to write a journal to my future husband telling him everything about me and what I am going through to find him. All my crushes and heartbreaks. Every pimple that ruins some spectacular event like homecoming. When I want to give up hope but then remember that he is out there somewhere searching for me too. I am so excited for this journey. And I cannot wait to see how much more my husband will love me after he reads it. I have hope :) I'm worth it, and I'm so glad I finally figured that out.

silly boys, hats are for girls

At the State Fair this year I saw a hat such as this one, and I was determined to have one. But I have yet to find one that suits me well. I imagine one with a cream colored top (like this one) but a black brim with a black ribbon tied to the back. So cute! I've decided that I want to own hats, and I want to start wearing them as if it were the norm for me. Branching out in style is a great change :) I'm excited for the new confidence it might bring!

Goodness how I love makeup! I was a girl made for the stage. I think I shall experiment with mine today

Epiphany!

You wanna know the problem?

I'll try to break it down...

Girls watch WAY too many chick flicks these days. and in chick flicks... the a$$ hole turns out to be the nice guy you wanted all along. Girls crave the excitement of everything in between. But a$$ holes in real life never turn out to be the nice guy... They just turn out to be a bigger rat then when you fell for them.

"Nice guys" aren't "exciting" enough.

Ya know?

Or so I've been told.....

I crave a nice guy.

Life as we know it...

Lately my mind has been running. Thinking about anything and everything. I find myself trying to plan my wedding. Which is only crazy because #1 i'm only 18 and #2 I don't have boyfriend nor do I have any prospects. I've been worrying about not having things to survive on when I have to live on my own. I've been thinking about where I would/could/should move when I am done with school.
If you haven't ever met me, or don't know me well, Hi. I'm Jordyn Elizabeth and I am terrified of growing up. I hate being 18. I hate the fact that my own sister worries because she knows I am still a child. I hate that I have friends that I can't depend on and that steal my things.
I'm a worrier. I worry about things that haven't even happened, or things that probably never will. I hold grudges. And Lord knows that wears me down. I yearn. I yearn for things I fear I will never have. I struggle with giving all of this up to God. To trust him to do what is best for me. Sometimes I forget he is there, and I feel like i'm doing this whole life thing on my own, because sometimes it really feels like I am.
I can't stand that I can't get a boyfriend. I can't stand that I feel like i'm never pretty enough, or skinny enough, or...or...or... This world has been harsh on me, and I have all but submitted to it. I used to be a strong girl. I wish  I knew how to get that girl back.

a quote

"Patience is passion tamed."

Here We Go Bluebird

I've always been told its good to wear your heart on your sleeve, because otherwise you'll never know when you find love. But its much easier to be heartbroken that way... I've found myself to be very heartbroken lately. Not because I have lost a boy, just the absence of one. There is no one "special". Its a hard sort of feeling. Odd all at the same time. I've been keeping my head up the best I can, and I've been trying not to think the worst of every boy I meet. Not an easy job, mind you.


Reminding myself that I'm only 18, and have plenty of time to find my soul mate is something I don't like to do. I want to be 20 and incandescently in love. I want to know that I won't be alone for the rest of my life; Because, to be completely honest, that is a huge fear of mine. But one day I will be 20, and some day I will be incandescently in love... Just not soon enough for my taste.


Go love someone today, anyone.
Just love.

Relief

"Never Run after a bus or a man. There will always be another one coming."

FYI

Today I have come to a realization that no matter how broken and torn my family may be, I love them so much. Just the other day my mom made me a bracelet, and I have yet to take it off because it keeps her with me all day long. My sisters keep me on my toes and always know what to say. My brother-in-law Christopher, although I fell like sometimes he does not like me, is always there for me like a REAL big brother. Always. And my dad... some days I claim to hate him, and I am still unable to forgive him, but he is like that guy that every time you see him you get butterflies and don't know what to say. I love my daddy.


My grandma, my cousins, aunts and uncles... I don't know what I'd do without them.
And Andrew, my cousin, is my other big brother. He keeps involved in my life even though he lives states away. I love him with all my heart.


Do not take family for granted. No matter what happens. They are the people you can lean on no matter the situation.

"The family is a haven in a heartless world"

Reassurance

Last night at 12:05 Dalton reminded me of our 1st grade love for each other. A little song called When I Go by Slow Club. He told me to listen to it because it reminded him of us.
I have this awful fear that I will grow old and alone. It is an awful awful thing! But I know I'll at least have Dalton forever, whether as a best friend, a brother, or even a husband. I can't wait to grow old with him regardless of what he is to me.


When I go by Slow Club

If we’re both not married by twenty-two
Could I be so bold and ask you?
If we’re both not married by twenty-three
Will you make my year and ask me?

If we’re both not married by twenty-four
Will you pass me those kneepads and I’ll get on the floor?
If we’re both not married by twenty-five
I hope that there’s some childish spark still alive

Cause there are so many lessons
That I just never cared to learn
And there are so many questions that still burn
Like will you hold my hand when I go?
Will you hold my hand when I go?
Will you hold my hand when I go?
Will you hold my hand when I go?

If I get to thirty and I don’t have a wife
I’ll ask you nicely but I won’t ask twice
If I get to forty and I don’t have a spouse
I’ll fashion you a letter and I’ll send it to your house
If I get to sixty will you let me slip away
Into an armchair for the rest of my days?
Cause you’ve got your family and I’ve got mine
The love that we shared was for another time

Cause there are so many lessons
That I just never cared to learn
And there are so many questions that still burn
Like will you hold my hand when I go?
Will you hold my hand when I go?
Will you hold my hand when I go?
Will you hold my hand when I go?