We Are Restless

Today Aubri-Nicole died. My best friends little baby girl was only a month old. I can not imagine the pain and hurt she is going through. Please keep Tyler and her family in your prayers, as i will do the same. God bless you all that you may not have to know this pain.

Thank You Sarah Lorrayne

While in Colorado on Christmas vacation with family... I bought a journal because of a wonderful idea my friend Sarah had. I am going to write a journal to my future husband telling him everything about me and what I am going through to find him. All my crushes and heartbreaks. Every pimple that ruins some spectacular event like homecoming. When I want to give up hope but then remember that he is out there somewhere searching for me too. I am so excited for this journey. And I cannot wait to see how much more my husband will love me after he reads it. I have hope :) I'm worth it, and I'm so glad I finally figured that out.

silly boys, hats are for girls

At the State Fair this year I saw a hat such as this one, and I was determined to have one. But I have yet to find one that suits me well. I imagine one with a cream colored top (like this one) but a black brim with a black ribbon tied to the back. So cute! I've decided that I want to own hats, and I want to start wearing them as if it were the norm for me. Branching out in style is a great change :) I'm excited for the new confidence it might bring!

Goodness how I love makeup! I was a girl made for the stage. I think I shall experiment with mine today

Epiphany!

You wanna know the problem?

I'll try to break it down...

Girls watch WAY too many chick flicks these days. and in chick flicks... the a$$ hole turns out to be the nice guy you wanted all along. Girls crave the excitement of everything in between. But a$$ holes in real life never turn out to be the nice guy... They just turn out to be a bigger rat then when you fell for them.

"Nice guys" aren't "exciting" enough.

Ya know?

Or so I've been told.....

I crave a nice guy.

Life as we know it...

Lately my mind has been running. Thinking about anything and everything. I find myself trying to plan my wedding. Which is only crazy because #1 i'm only 18 and #2 I don't have boyfriend nor do I have any prospects. I've been worrying about not having things to survive on when I have to live on my own. I've been thinking about where I would/could/should move when I am done with school.
If you haven't ever met me, or don't know me well, Hi. I'm Jordyn Elizabeth and I am terrified of growing up. I hate being 18. I hate the fact that my own sister worries because she knows I am still a child. I hate that I have friends that I can't depend on and that steal my things.
I'm a worrier. I worry about things that haven't even happened, or things that probably never will. I hold grudges. And Lord knows that wears me down. I yearn. I yearn for things I fear I will never have. I struggle with giving all of this up to God. To trust him to do what is best for me. Sometimes I forget he is there, and I feel like i'm doing this whole life thing on my own, because sometimes it really feels like I am.
I can't stand that I can't get a boyfriend. I can't stand that I feel like i'm never pretty enough, or skinny enough, or...or...or... This world has been harsh on me, and I have all but submitted to it. I used to be a strong girl. I wish  I knew how to get that girl back.